Image by Gerd Altmann
In this Article:
- What our emotions really mean in the context of everyday challenges.
- How can understanding emotional signals change the way we solve problems?
- What is the real problem when we feel overwhelmed by emotions?
- How we can use emotions as guides rather than obstacles.
- Practical steps we can take to navigate life using our emotional signals.
Finding (W)inner Peace: What If We're Not the Problem?
By Ryan Christensen.
In order to be successful as entrepreneurs and professionals, we have to be self-aware. We must recognize what’s going on inside us -- how it might be holding us back or getting in our way -- so that we understand how our emotions may be impacting our work and our life. Without that willingness to look at ourselves and our shortcomings, we get blindsided by things and can’t perform at our best.
But sometimes self-awareness can be a trap. If we’re always looking at ourselves as the problem, we end up spending a lot of time and energy trying to fix ourselves, policing our thoughts and our emotions. We read endless books, listen to way too many podcasts, and attend seminar after workshop after retreat. Yet for some reason, we never quite end up fixing the problem.
What if We’re Not the Problem?
What if we’re looking in the wrong direction? In a lot of ways, it makes sense to think of ourselves as the problem. We feel things inside of us. We hear thoughts in our head. Since it’s all coming from inside us, isn’t that where we should look?
Maybe not.
Our brains are basically machines that translate the outside world into something we can understand. Our visual cortex processes light into a picture in our mind. Our audio cortex does the same thing with sound. Other parts of our mind process smell, language, symbols, and so forth. All of this data then gets combined together and presented to us in a way our conscious mind can understand. Makes sense so far.
Our subconscious mind is responsible for generating all our emotions and all our thoughts. That led me to an interesting thought: what if our thoughts and emotions are just trying to help us understand the outside world? Not what that world IS, but what that world MEANS?
That would mean the problem we’re facing isn’t inside us, it’s in the outside world. It would mean that every emotion we feel is a signal telling us what kind of problem we’re facing in the outside world, and rather than being something to overcome, our emotions are useful signals that help us navigate the challenges we face.
It would also mean that all those moments where we were overwhelmed were just times when we couldn’t find a way to win. Where our mind was screaming at us for help, but we couldn’t help it find a solution. And that changes everything.
Finding (W)inner Peace
Solving problems is actually pretty easy once you know what the problem is. The hard part is the exploration and diagnostic process to narrow down the possibilities until we find the right one. Once we do, the solution is often pretty obvious, and from there it’s just a matter of execution. If our emotions have specific meanings, are highlighting specific kinds of problems, we can use them to find the real problem faster and more effectively.
Here’s the way I teach my clients to use their emotions to help them:
Make sure you’re looking in the right place for the problem. Remember that the problem isn’t inside of us, it’s in the outside world. The challenge we’re facing, the problem we need to solve, is how to navigate the situation we’re facing.
Every emotion has a meaning and is showing us what kind of problem we’re facing. This is how I view them:
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Anxiety tells us that there’s a potential problem out there, but it’s not here yet. This is that hiding response, a branch snaps in the forest, so we freeze until we can figure out what to do.
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Depression tells us that we’re out of options. This could mean we just need to wait it out, or we need to start looking for other ways to generate options.
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Sadness means we’ve lost something we need or we didn’t get what we wanted. So, focus on the lessons we’ve learned and the good things we still get to keep. There’s a difference between going to an Irish wake and attending a funeral - one is a celebration of their life, the other is mourning the loss.
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Regret is like sadness, but instead of losing something you missed out on, this is an opportunity to gain something. Same tactics apply; figure out the lesson and what you received instead.
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Shame tells us we failed to meet a standard of some kind. We first need to understand if it’s even an appropriate standard. Should we beat ourselves up for not going to the gym when we’re sick? But if it is appropriate, then all we need to do is figure out how to level up to meet it.
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Stress says you’ve got too much on your plate. In that case, we need to take a step back and make sure we’ve got our priorities laid out correctly. Once we do that, we can focus on what’s most important and will have the most impact.
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Frustration means we’re on the wrong track, that we can’t solve the problem the way we’re trying to do. It’s best to step back, take a look at it from a fresh perspective, and question our assumptions. That will help us figure out a better approach to the problem.
Get Curious
In every case, what we feel is helping guide us to an answer, so we should let it. All we have to do is get curious and look for the problem our emotion is telling us to fix. Pretty soon, something will catch our attention, we’ll get some kind of insight. All we need to do then is follow that thread, go down the rabbit hole for a while, and find our solution.
Our emotions don’t have to be our enemy once we learn to work with them instead of fighting them. When we realize our challenge is how to navigate the situation at hand, we can stop spending all our time trying to fix ourselves and rise to the challenge. And that makes it much easier to come to peace with ourselves and ultimately succeed.
Copyright 2024. All Rights Reserved.
Book by this Author:
BOOK: Winner Peace
Winner Peace: How to End Inner Conflict and Make Success Inevitable
by Ryan Christensen.
When we stop beating ourselves up and start helping ourselves instead, we find the peace we’ve always wanted—but never thought possible. Most of us are trying to succeed our way out of insecurity. Proving anything to your satisfaction is a rational process. But feeling like we’re not good enough is an emotional conclusion. And the emotional mind ignores rational proof.
Winner Peace brings your thoughts, feelings, and efforts into alignment. Author Ryan Christensen’s new model of belief formation and emotional impact harmonizes the rational and emotional minds so that you can live a life of peak fulfillment. This book is an urgent read for any high-performing individual stuck chasing the moving goalposts of success and meaning.
For more info and/or to order this paperback book, click here. Also available as an Audiobook, a Kindle edition, and a hardcover.
About the Author
Ryan Christensen shares his expertise in unlocking human potential. Specializing in peak mental focus and performance, with a background in intelligence operations and certifications in advanced hypnosis, he has helped hundreds of high-achievers transform their limiting beliefs, eliminate self-sabotaging behaviors, and unlock their true potential. His new book, Winner Peace: How to End Inner Conflict and Make Success Inevitable, offers a revolutionary approach to ending inner conflict, releasing the power of the subconscious mind, and making success inevitable. Learn more at RyanTheHypnotist.com.
Article Recap:
The article explores the concept that emotions are not internal problems to be fixed but signals indicating external challenges to be navigated. It suggests that emotions such as anxiety, depression, and frustration provide clues to the nature of real-world problems we face. Understanding and interpreting these emotional signals can lead to more effective problem-solving and a deeper sense of inner peace. The author encourages a shift in perspective from fixing oneself to understanding and acting on the information provided by our emotions.
